Author Archives: Chris

About Chris

Chris is an IT/IS management professional with over a decade of experience in IT, IS, Network Engineering, and Telecommunications integration. Chris specializes in web server deployment and information management. This includes CMS, CRM, and dynamic content deployment. Chris also manages a full service Video Head End with over 200 digital TV channels. Chris also has five years of project management, knowledge management, and engineering design experience. He specializes in both the Agile and Scrum project management methodology. He also has a background in computer forensics and information security including federal or state compliance audits (such as SOX).

Classic DF – 4/5/03

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April 05, 2003: [•] The US military is learning more about the Iraqi culture everyday such as what tattoos guerrilla warriors have and how the condition of people’s feet could indicate whether they are a solider or a farmer. [•] US forces have secured the newly named Baghdad International Airport and continue to conduct raids on the city to weaken Iraqi forces. Of course, the Hussein regime denies all this and says everything is just peachy for their forces. Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. [•] Work has begun on a SARS vaccine. [•] An ex-senior leader of the East Timor militia, Jose Cardosa Fereira, was sentenced to 12 years in prison for war crimes. [•] At least 60 people died after a ferry sunk in Bangladesh. [•] Serbian police have detained 7,000 people as they continue to search for suspects in the assassination of Prime Minister Zoran Djindjic. [•] Apparently the colors of US food ration packets and US bomblets are both yellow in color. As a result confused Iraqi civilians seem to be chasing bomblets instead of food as it drops which is definitely not a good thing. DOH! [•] Mexican authorities have arrested Arturo Hernandez Gonzalez on charges that he is a drug cartel. [•] Sunday morning (2am to be exact) it will be time to roll forward an hour as Daylight Savings Time is over. [•] Michael Kelly, editor-at-large for The Atlantic Monthly, was killed while covering a story in Iraq. He is the first reporter to die while “embedded” into a military unit. [•] Federal and State government officials are pushing to make soldiers KIA become US citizens automatically if they are not. [•] US Brig. Gen. Vincent Brooks started giving the Central Command daily briefing this week instead of CentComm chief commander Gen. Tommy Franks and while it is not known why Brooks will certainly continue to be the man at the podium for the time being. [•] A man in Texas has been charged with chaining up his wife up after she tried to leave him. [•] Over 50 million records have been posted publicly online of various historical archived legal documents. [•] The RIAA is now targeting specific individuals for copyright violations. [•] Six more moons have been found around Jupiter. [•] The Smallpox vaccine holds danger for those with heart problems. [•] The CDC says that spraying pesticides to kill mosquitos to prevent the spread of the West Nile Virus does not pose any immediate threats to humans. [•] Your early warning sign of a chemical attack could come from your lucky four leaf clover in the near future and do mean that literally. [•] Digital telephone services are driving the FBI nuts because they are currently so hard to tap into. [•] AOL wants federal regulators to loosen regulations on the IM protocol. How do you want to monopolize the industry today? LOL [•] Sony is making sure that it’s new DVR will work with broadband connections. [•] Pennsylvania has made ISPs in the state block a whole list of illegal child pornography sites from being viewable through those ISP’s services, but no one can publicly disclose the list because that would be illegal too. Talk about ironic. [•] I don’t know what the video of Saddam Hussein among “his people” says to you, but it sure likes like a pre-stage propaganda tape to me. Very… ummm… Nazi-like. That very likeness is scary in and of itself. [•] Honda has announced its Third Annual Civic Tour. [•] Motor Trend once again updated its forecast for the next Corvette. [•] I didn’t do much yesterday. Hung out with V after work. Just a quite evening spent vegging out. Tonight I pick up Gette and I am understandably excited about seeing my daughter (but of course). Not much else going on. [•] Bored? I’m not a big fan of Atlantis or even supporting the idea that it existed, but when you find hot chicks like this on a page it does make it somewhat easier to digest no matter how loony the reason for the site she’s on might be. 😉

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Classic DF – 4/4/03

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April 04, 2003: [•] DF.com was down because we felt like it. I felt too tired to walk 10′ from my desk to ask Rock to restart HTTP services. We’re lazy slothfully self-indulged bastards who aspire to wallow in our own filth on a daily basis. Okay, maybe not! We did have an outage though due to an application failure, but that’s the glory of technology I guess. I’ll learn to live with it; maybe. 😉

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Classic DF – 12/6/02

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December 06, 2002: [•] Happy birthday to Morning Glory. [•] If you look real close and pay attention to details you will be very amused by Broken’s latest web page change on his personal site. [•] Both BrokenReality and Mermaid have created a Stack Ups! episode. Both own my momma and are hilarious. The fan submitted stuff is really good and Immy’s little project is really taking off. Where am I in my Ultimate Stack Ups! project? Well, I’m inking still. I’m half way done inking the third page and there’s only four page so I guess I’m about 75% done on the whole thing. I expect by the middle of next week I’ll have it submitted to Immy for posting. [•] I love paranoia news articles. Like this one on the dangers of static electricity while pumping gas. I can picture it now: Tons of frantic consumers strapping on antistatic wrist straps and grounding themselves prior to pumping gas. BTW: It’s a little know fact, but cat fur is major static electricity conductor. So it’s a good idea not to pet your cat while pumping gas not that I know anyone who does, but you’ve been warned. [•] It appears that the Olmecs invented writing in the Americas. [•] So it’s December and I’ve already gotten a major snowfall dumped on my little village in New York. Nothing too bad and things are looking clear today, but I’ll tell you what sliding your car rally style through the snow is fun. Ah, the joys of winter. [•] US military troops are in place for war if need be. [•] Africa apparently has its own Stonehenge-like structure. [•] So The Sopranos are almost over and I really didn’t watch this season. No time to. I like that they whacked Ralphie and now that they cleared up a lot of junk maybe they can move onto the real mob war. Or not. [•] Animation legend William Henson died in a car crash. He was 78-years old. [•] A recent survey found that Mac lovers have loyalty to the brand because the Apple’s computer designs invoke infant-like features thus triggering people to love them like children. This only really proves one thing: Mac users are fucking crazy. It’s a computer for Christmas sakes not a baby! [•] Bread and cereal seem to increase the hormone levels that cause pimples. [•] Paul Grey (bassist of Slipknot) has started a band with two member of American Head Charge called F.O.R. Slipknot itself insists that primary song recording beings New Year’s Day (especially if by “recording” they mean “drinking a lot”) and that by March the whole band will convene to lay down tracks. Nice. [•] The VH1 Big in 2002 Awards celebrated all that is big (ummm… like sausage). [•] US Treasury Secretary Paul O’Neill has resigned. [•] I like the new Lincoln autos. They are pretty nice. This is a sure sign that I’m getting old. [•] Rumor has it that Nissan is going to revive the Datsun brand name. Nice! [•] Bored? Then you’ve never shot a potato out of cannon. Need I say more?

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Classic DF – 12/5/02

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December 05, 2002: [•] Oh my God! A Stack Ups! double update! No wait! It’s a triple update! Holy crapola! Love me long time! [•] Everything looked pretty grim for me on Tuesday night. Looked like a major life change was going to happen for me. By Wednesday night I was in a hot tub and my life was back to normal. Well, not that I often find myself in a hot tub; but I think you know what I mean. Life, in general, was normal again. I spent Tuesday night into Wednesday afternoon taking care of Gette. That was pretty cool because normally I don’t see Gette that early in the week. She’s got a cold so she’s pretty sick. Poor kid. I tried to make her as comfortable as possible and to keep her fever down. There’s nothing worse than having to watch your child suffer and not being able to do anything. All the doctors will tell you is “keep fluids in her” so they’re worthless. She was drinking lots of juice and that’s a good thing. Hopefully she’ll be better soon. Wednesday afternoon I went shopping with my ex-wife and Gette. Mel had to do Christmas shopping for her house and I just kind of tagged along. I paid my bills via their respective mall outlets so I don’t get hit with late charges this month (image that). My debt consolidation is going well and from what I can tell I will be out of the hole (so to say) by Spring 2003. Nice. Hung out with V later that night. I was fatigued and stressed out so she opened up her hot tub. I chilled in there like a boiling lobster until I was nearly asleep. Then it was time to go home and go to bed. Now today I woke up and it’s really dark outside. It is apparently snowing like crazy across the entire Eastern US. I cannot tell as I have no windows so I’ll just take the TV’s word for it. We’re supposed to get around a foot of snow and that doesn’t bother me any. I only work down the street from where I live so I could walk home if I had to. Besides, there are worse jobs to have when it’s snowing outside. For example: This poor schmuck has to stand outside in the snow. He serves no purpose since all he can say is “Bob it sure is cold out here” or “Hey, it’s snowing and pretty nasty out from what I can see”. He literally gets paid to stand outside and look like he’s reporting something. What can he report??? NOTHING! It must suck to know that your job revolves around how well you stand outside in horrible weather and look good. I would just once love to hear the reporter say, “Well Bob, you’re sitting on your fat ass safe and sound in the studio while I’m out here about to die. But don’t worry I poisoned the cafeteria coffee machine and your all going to suffer a slow painful death too. Happy Holidays!”. Yeah, I’m evil, but I’m funny so it’s okay. [•] Post-Lunch Update: I went outside finally. It is snowing out. It sucks. The snow is getting mashed into ice by traffic thus making a nice slippery surface to conveniently collide with oncoming traffic with little to no effort. Extremely nice. Going home should be fun. I’d hate to be one of you who has to commute far. I feel your pain. I really do. Oh no, wait… I don’t. Sorry. I’m evil (I just remembered).

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Classic DF – 12/3/02

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December 03, 2002: [•] I love mysterious web sites with only a graphic teasing you as to its true meaning and besides anything by Broken is cool. So with that I give you BrokenFilms! Whahoo! [•] Yep, it’s Tuesday and thus I bring you my WWE RAW! weekly bitching. As usual Immy‘s house hosted our little wrestling gathering which included Verona, MG, Rider666 (or the artist formerly know as Thundercat), Mermaid, and Skyler. Honestly there was so much going on conversation-wise in the room I really didn’t watch too much of the show. The commentary and interpersonal interaction were much more interesting than some little wrestling show could muster. Nevertheless using my Miss Cleo-like powers from the dark side of the spoon I have telepathically siphoned the images of wrestlers long gone to give me some insight into a show I never watched. I think this is also how they do the Neilsen ratings judging by the success of Friends and Survivor because God knows real human beings wouldn’t ever watch that sort of crap. Anyhow here we go: The Dudley Boyz had a great match with 2:30 Warning (Rico still isn’t big enough to be a whole minute). The Dudleys won, but were severely beat down by 2:30 and Those Evil Canadians. Did I mention that Canadians are evil? Well, going by wrestling they are. Very evil. The Samoans too. Not to mention ministers, rock stars, and ex-ECW wrestlers. All evil. But I digress, the match was good so it gets an 8 out of 10 (and they hit Devon Dudley over the head with a chair while he was lying face down on another chair… pure chair smacking genius). I don’t remember too much of Trish Stratus verses Ivory. They both looked good. They fought (I think). I think that Victoria came down and attacked Trish. I don’t know anymore. All the girls look alike nowadays in wrestling anyhow. It gets a 9 because there were lots of boobs nevertheless. William Regal with Lance Storm took on Jeff Hardy and Tommy Dreamer. We’re all sure Jeff is gay. He flies gay. He jumps gay. He raped Lance’s ass and that was really gay. At that point I lost consciousness and passed out due to the amount of gayness. I awoke to find Tommy Dreamer swinging a large stick at everyone and almost hitting Jeff by accident. Plus, Dreamer was bleeding. SHIT! The match got exciting and I passed out! Well, I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt and give it a 7 based on gay rape with bloody noses being an “in thing” to do today. Batista decided to walk on down to the ring to fight the Hurricane for whatever reason. I think Batista’s belly button is possibly even gayer than Lance’s ass raping, but I’m still deep in thought over that debate. In the meantime I plan to ignore both and pretend it never happened (much like waking up this morning in general). I’m not sure what happened. Verona had to go home and I needed sleep. So I’ll make something up. WWE.com says that Batista won so I’m going to say that Batista simply discovered that Hurricane’s secret weakness was stupid looking tattoos. Batista being covered in stupid looking tattoos won no problem. Case closed. Oh yeah, Ric Flair is hanging out with Batista. Why? Ummm… let’s see. Oh yeah here’s why– The glass ceiling returned courtesy of HHH. His throat got crushed so he sounded funny. I laughed at him. Not because he sounded funny, but because he still looks funny too. He’s got a big nose! HAH! Actually with the big nose and the raspy voice HHH is starting to bear a strange resemblance to a steroid loving Gonzo. I wonder how much longer it will be until he dies his balding head blue. Not long my friends. Not long indeed. Bring in the chickens!

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