Classic DF – 12/6/02

December 06, 2002: [•] Happy birthday to Morning Glory. [•] If you look real close and pay attention to details you will be very amused by Broken’s latest web page change on his personal site. [•] Both BrokenReality and Mermaid have created a Stack Ups! episode. Both own my momma and are hilarious. The fan submitted stuff is really good and Immy’s little project is really taking off. Where am I in my Ultimate Stack Ups! project? Well, I’m inking still. I’m half way done inking the third page and there’s only four page so I guess I’m about 75% done on the whole thing. I expect by the middle of next week I’ll have it submitted to Immy for posting. [•] I love paranoia news articles. Like this one on the dangers of static electricity while pumping gas. I can picture it now: Tons of frantic consumers strapping on antistatic wrist straps and grounding themselves prior to pumping gas. BTW: It’s a little know fact, but cat fur is major static electricity conductor. So it’s a good idea not to pet your cat while pumping gas not that I know anyone who does, but you’ve been warned. [•] It appears that the Olmecs invented writing in the Americas. [•] So it’s December and I’ve already gotten a major snowfall dumped on my little village in New York. Nothing too bad and things are looking clear today, but I’ll tell you what sliding your car rally style through the snow is fun. Ah, the joys of winter. [•] US military troops are in place for war if need be. [•] Africa apparently has its own Stonehenge-like structure. [•] So The Sopranos are almost over and I really didn’t watch this season. No time to. I like that they whacked Ralphie and now that they cleared up a lot of junk maybe they can move onto the real mob war. Or not. [•] Animation legend William Henson died in a car crash. He was 78-years old. [•] A recent survey found that Mac lovers have loyalty to the brand because the Apple’s computer designs invoke infant-like features thus triggering people to love them like children. This only really proves one thing: Mac users are fucking crazy. It’s a computer for Christmas sakes not a baby! [•] Bread and cereal seem to increase the hormone levels that cause pimples. [•] Paul Grey (bassist of Slipknot) has started a band with two member of American Head Charge called F.O.R. Slipknot itself insists that primary song recording beings New Year’s Day (especially if by “recording” they mean “drinking a lot”) and that by March the whole band will convene to lay down tracks. Nice. [•] The VH1 Big in 2002 Awards celebrated all that is big (ummm… like sausage). [•] US Treasury Secretary Paul O’Neill has resigned. [•] I like the new Lincoln autos. They are pretty nice. This is a sure sign that I’m getting old. [•] Rumor has it that Nissan is going to revive the Datsun brand name. Nice! [•] Bored? Then you’ve never shot a potato out of cannon. Need I say more?

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Classic DF – 12/5/02

December 05, 2002: [•] Oh my God! A Stack Ups! double update! No wait! It’s a triple update! Holy crapola! Love me long time! [•] Everything looked pretty grim for me on Tuesday night. Looked like a major life change was going to happen for me. By Wednesday night I was in a hot tub and my life was back to normal. Well, not that I often find myself in a hot tub; but I think you know what I mean. Life, in general, was normal again. I spent Tuesday night into Wednesday afternoon taking care of Gette. That was pretty cool because normally I don’t see Gette that early in the week. She’s got a cold so she’s pretty sick. Poor kid. I tried to make her as comfortable as possible and to keep her fever down. There’s nothing worse than having to watch your child suffer and not being able to do anything. All the doctors will tell you is “keep fluids in her” so they’re worthless. She was drinking lots of juice and that’s a good thing. Hopefully she’ll be better soon. Wednesday afternoon I went shopping with my ex-wife and Gette. Mel had to do Christmas shopping for her house and I just kind of tagged along. I paid my bills via their respective mall outlets so I don’t get hit with late charges this month (image that). My debt consolidation is going well and from what I can tell I will be out of the hole (so to say) by Spring 2003. Nice. Hung out with V later that night. I was fatigued and stressed out so she opened up her hot tub. I chilled in there like a boiling lobster until I was nearly asleep. Then it was time to go home and go to bed. Now today I woke up and it’s really dark outside. It is apparently snowing like crazy across the entire Eastern US. I cannot tell as I have no windows so I’ll just take the TV’s word for it. We’re supposed to get around a foot of snow and that doesn’t bother me any. I only work down the street from where I live so I could walk home if I had to. Besides, there are worse jobs to have when it’s snowing outside. For example: This poor schmuck has to stand outside in the snow. He serves no purpose since all he can say is “Bob it sure is cold out here” or “Hey, it’s snowing and pretty nasty out from what I can see”. He literally gets paid to stand outside and look like he’s reporting something. What can he report??? NOTHING! It must suck to know that your job revolves around how well you stand outside in horrible weather and look good. I would just once love to hear the reporter say, “Well Bob, you’re sitting on your fat ass safe and sound in the studio while I’m out here about to die. But don’t worry I poisoned the cafeteria coffee machine and your all going to suffer a slow painful death too. Happy Holidays!”. Yeah, I’m evil, but I’m funny so it’s okay. [•] Post-Lunch Update: I went outside finally. It is snowing out. It sucks. The snow is getting mashed into ice by traffic thus making a nice slippery surface to conveniently collide with oncoming traffic with little to no effort. Extremely nice. Going home should be fun. I’d hate to be one of you who has to commute far. I feel your pain. I really do. Oh no, wait… I don’t. Sorry. I’m evil (I just remembered).

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Classic DF – 12/3/02

December 03, 2002: [•] I love mysterious web sites with only a graphic teasing you as to its true meaning and besides anything by Broken is cool. So with that I give you BrokenFilms! Whahoo! [•] Yep, it’s Tuesday and thus I bring you my WWE RAW! weekly bitching. As usual Immy‘s house hosted our little wrestling gathering which included Verona, MG, Rider666 (or the artist formerly know as Thundercat), Mermaid, and Skyler. Honestly there was so much going on conversation-wise in the room I really didn’t watch too much of the show. The commentary and interpersonal interaction were much more interesting than some little wrestling show could muster. Nevertheless using my Miss Cleo-like powers from the dark side of the spoon I have telepathically siphoned the images of wrestlers long gone to give me some insight into a show I never watched. I think this is also how they do the Neilsen ratings judging by the success of Friends and Survivor because God knows real human beings wouldn’t ever watch that sort of crap. Anyhow here we go: The Dudley Boyz had a great match with 2:30 Warning (Rico still isn’t big enough to be a whole minute). The Dudleys won, but were severely beat down by 2:30 and Those Evil Canadians. Did I mention that Canadians are evil? Well, going by wrestling they are. Very evil. The Samoans too. Not to mention ministers, rock stars, and ex-ECW wrestlers. All evil. But I digress, the match was good so it gets an 8 out of 10 (and they hit Devon Dudley over the head with a chair while he was lying face down on another chair… pure chair smacking genius). I don’t remember too much of Trish Stratus verses Ivory. They both looked good. They fought (I think). I think that Victoria came down and attacked Trish. I don’t know anymore. All the girls look alike nowadays in wrestling anyhow. It gets a 9 because there were lots of boobs nevertheless. William Regal with Lance Storm took on Jeff Hardy and Tommy Dreamer. We’re all sure Jeff is gay. He flies gay. He jumps gay. He raped Lance’s ass and that was really gay. At that point I lost consciousness and passed out due to the amount of gayness. I awoke to find Tommy Dreamer swinging a large stick at everyone and almost hitting Jeff by accident. Plus, Dreamer was bleeding. SHIT! The match got exciting and I passed out! Well, I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt and give it a 7 based on gay rape with bloody noses being an “in thing” to do today. Batista decided to walk on down to the ring to fight the Hurricane for whatever reason. I think Batista’s belly button is possibly even gayer than Lance’s ass raping, but I’m still deep in thought over that debate. In the meantime I plan to ignore both and pretend it never happened (much like waking up this morning in general). I’m not sure what happened. Verona had to go home and I needed sleep. So I’ll make something up. WWE.com says that Batista won so I’m going to say that Batista simply discovered that Hurricane’s secret weakness was stupid looking tattoos. Batista being covered in stupid looking tattoos won no problem. Case closed. Oh yeah, Ric Flair is hanging out with Batista. Why? Ummm… let’s see. Oh yeah here’s why– The glass ceiling returned courtesy of HHH. His throat got crushed so he sounded funny. I laughed at him. Not because he sounded funny, but because he still looks funny too. He’s got a big nose! HAH! Actually with the big nose and the raspy voice HHH is starting to bear a strange resemblance to a steroid loving Gonzo. I wonder how much longer it will be until he dies his balding head blue. Not long my friends. Not long indeed. Bring in the chickens!

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Classic DF – 12/2/02

December 02, 2002: [•] Angela Incendium posted a link to a “Which Simpsons Supporting Cast Member Are You?” quiz and once again it’s no surprise what my results turned out to be: I’m Krusty the Clown. I am sooooo Krusty it isn’t funny. I’m the joker in public and the cynic asshole in private. All I can say is HEY KIDS! [•] Immy created a new Stack Ups! welcome trailer that owns my momma! Note: Despite what Immy claims I am not that gay yet either. Wait… I’m not gay AT ALL DAMN IT! [•] Broken updated his site layout and it looks phat yo! [•] I hope everyone had a decent Thanksgiving. Mine was 75% awesome and 25% depressing. I guess it’s impossible to have a “perfect day” so I’ll just leave it at Thanksgiving dinner itself was great, visiting my ex-in laws was great, and bringing the baby home right after it all some how left me depressed. Maybe it’s just the sudden change from Daddy life to lonely and alone single life on a holiday. If my life wasn’t so insane right now I would simply believe that “I really need a girlfriend”, but I think at this point it’s more like I just “really need a moment to take a breather”. LOL

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Classic DF – 11/30/02

November 30, 2002: [•] Last night, after work, I abducted Immy from his room. We headed on up to Middletown to scope out girls and see how badly Black Friday screwed up the stores (HAH You have to clean up after messy customer you store jockeys you EHEHEH!). We made our usual mandatory stops into the Galleria and Walmart. Amazingly at 11PM Walmart was still hopping with shoppers caught up the day’s buying frenzy. I felt really bad for the employees because it is a 24-hour/7-day a week store so there is no real rest for them. I was beat so though so I went home and passed out by midnight. Tonight I have Gette again and she’s staying over until Sunday night. More Daddy time, which just so owns (as they say). [•] BTW: Immy says that Hoagie is doing well and that’s a good thing. He’s doing something or other in Arizona. I personally think it’s a government conspiracy and Hoagie has actually been abducted by Elvis impersonating aliens, but that is just me. [•] Broken gave me a sneak preview of his next web site layout and it’s looking nice. Keep an eye out for that update. [•] The other day I taught Skyler the joys of dealing with bounced checks. I’m sure it was just as much for her as it was for me. LOL [•] Immy gave me a little peak into the plot line for the Christmas episode of Stack Ups! and all I got to say is make sure you read it once it’s posted. It is hilarious! [•] I don’t care what MapQuest claims about the accuracy of their service. Every time I ask for directions with their online service I either get steered two-hours out of the way (even when using the “shortest route”) or worse yet thrown on a road that barely exists. For example: One time it steered me up a dirt road that was carved into cliff and I was in a 2-ton van begging God to not let me plummet 20-feet down the cliff into a shallow lake below. The best part was 20′ up from that dirt road the main highway turned around and reconnected with the other side of the dirt road. So basically there was no reason to even use it! Thank you MapQuest for almost killing me! [•] Massachusetts is the sole state that hasn’t settled its antitrust lawsuit with Microsoft. Word on the street says that in order to comply Microsoft must declare clam chowder the official soup of Windows XP and hire a Kennedy family member as official Chief Executive Alcoholic in order to reach compliance with existing state laws. 🙂 [•] Intel has announced that the next Itanium CPU will debut at 1.5GHz. [•] The US Military, ISPs, and server hosts are massively cracking down on illegal content including MP3s and pirated software. So store illegal stuff on your PCs at your own risk my friends. [•] Tis the season to be scammed online. Fa la lah la, la lah lah la! [•] Check out the Times-Herald Record News Briefs and look for the article about a fight at the mall. Immy and I were at the mall when it happened. They had tons of undercover security agents walking around that weren’t so undercover looking (they were all carrying around walkie talkies and you could hear every security page… not so secret agents!) and they all went running past us. When we got outside it was police and security everywhere with the suspects being searched. Totally hilarious. [•] Traffic was insane everywhere yesterday. One of my friends made the mistake of getting off the Thruway at the Woodbury Commons exit and found himself stuck in a nightmare situation. I was coming back on 211 past the Galleria earlier that day at around 11AM and I found the same snarled traffic. By 8PM, however, most of the traffic had cleared up. Shopping patterns are interesting and fun to analyze, but I don’t feel like boring you too much so MOVE ALONG! 🙂 [•] Linux Kernel 2.2.23 has been released. [•] Apparently now government officials in Kenya are saying a recent bombing of an Israeli-owned hotel isn’t related to al Qaeda activity. Then again, everything that goes wrong they blame on al Qaeda nowadays. I really don’t think al Qaeda is as powerful or closely tied as most people think. They seem to be just a bunch of angry people who randomly hurt people. Even I could organize that “global terrorist network” and that is just sad. [•] It is time once again for my favorite auto show, The 2002 SEMA Auto Show . [•] Mmmmm… race track tuned Acura NSX. [•] I’ve come to the conclusion I need a REAL day off. I’ve been working nonstop for a month. God, I hate being a workaholic. 😛

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